I spoke to Shannon tonight, via MSN, tonight. She forwarded me a copy of a manual she wrote out for her friend, Megan's, boyfriend. It was operating procedures and a help guide to any problems encountered with the Megan unit. It was highly witty and made me laugh... and yes, I got right back on MSN and demanded she write one for me, and possibly format it in a scrapbook, so that I may see, as well as read, how I am properly dealt with. Since she then demanded to know where the manual I was supposed to write for her was, I quickly sidestepped the whole situation by mentioning copyright laws and other lame excuses. However, this deflection still leaves me without a manual! I think of how helpful it would be to have, at hand, a few helpful tips for those that either are being exposed to me for the first time, or for those of my friends that really don't have a clue on how to handle the wonder that is me. I need this manual.
It will include such basics as:
1. The Bobbie unit requires regular refuelling or will be subject to bouts of moodiness, bordering on bitchiness. Shortbread is a good thing to have on hand as it will also serve to turn her "smile" switch to the on position.
2. Take care to provide excercise and fresh air. This unit tends to get stuck in a work loop and has a hard time overcoming this without help.
3. Be aware that the Bobbie unit can crash, without much warning. This can be caused by stress, or happiness. It is not uncommon for her to have outbursts, both publicly and privately. She has been known to cry, laugh, babble or simply shut down. Each situation is different, so be aware that what worked last time, may not work the next time. She will usually tell you what she needs to get back on track, but if she is being a brat and either not articulating, or doens't know what is the best course of action is, a good solution would be cuddling and a nap. Also refer to #1.
The manual will also include trouble shooting for other, more rare, situations:
4. When asked for chocolate, Bobbie may yell at you and run off to hide in her bedroom. This will be caused by temporary malfunction in her logic processor. It is usually best to let it run it's course, as it is a short lived problem. At that time, when things seem to be operating normally again, you may want to making the same request. This may or may not be successful.
So that is just a glimpse into what it would be like. An asset to all who know me.
1 comment:
haha...you're such a creep. you obviously know i'll make you your own manual. you know that i can't resist a project! though you'd better reciprocate b/c you won't get yours til i get mine...we can exchange it in the whole kidnapper-ransom way. it'll be fun! you'll also have to make sure you make megan contribute to mine b/c she owes me one too but it will probably be more helpful to have one consolidated version than several, right? right.
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