Bad Children

I was rereading some old Livejournal entries and I came upon this one that made me laugh. I was feeling most melodramatic, as you will soon see. I wanted to wallow in my little mood and have my woe exposed for the world to see. It didn't quite happen that way...


BAD CHILDREN
Have you ever seen a Bad Child? I am not talking about a loud child of five, who insists on running around touching things with his icky-sticky fingers. I am not referring to a twelve year old that can only whine and complain.

This is the person that hears she disappoints all around her. This is the one that has been told he has a little black heart and can do no right in his world. It is this Bad Child that all parents hope their young ones never grow up to be. Have you seen a child such as this?


SIMON:
Yes, I have.Oh, wait, you said seen, not been.

BOBS:
Ah Simon! Haven't you guessed just who the Bad Child is?

SIMON:
Me?

BOBS:
Simon, I could never see you as a Bad Child, you are too dear to have a black little heart. However, I will let you know that a Bad Child, indeed, can only be seen in a mirror.

SIMON:
Is this like Bloody Mary?

BOBS:
Yeah, but in this horror story, I am the bad guy.(I wonder what would happen if you said my name ten times, really fast, in the bathroom, with the lights out?)

SIMON:
My roommate knocked on the door and asked who I was talking to.I said "The mirror".He just walked away.

BOBS:
Simon, You have succeeded in making a Bad Child, with a black heart laugh at the world....this is why I love and cherish you.

SIMON:
Carol says I get ten points and a gold star sticker.

CAROL:
I did say that.

A few moments for Annie

I wrote a list of all I had to accomplish today. I did it when I was very tired last night and managed to get pretty much all that had been on my mind, at least written down (if not actually accomplished yet). I went to bed and left the list for the morning.

I woke up and dragged my butt around the house, finally settling down to start my work for the day. The list proved helpful, as it had individual tasks for that needed attention for work, mundane household chores, even a trip to the library to pick up some books I'd put on hold. I also found this:

#21. Spend a few minutes with Auntie Annie

When I read it, I smiled. I remembered writing it and was glad that I had the forethought to do so, as I'd obviously forgotten about it, already. My Auntie Annie is actually my cousin, second or third, I believe. She's also my Godmother. And I last saw her 23 years ago today.

I visited her in the hospital after a doctor's appointment of my own. The next morning, the phone rang and the news was delivered that she had passed away, having been fighting cancer for years.

Every year, I make it a point to give up a little of my time on October 14th for her. Every year, I do the same for the day after.

Just to catch you up

There is much I could write about, giving all the details, but it's late and many of the details will interest only myself. Instead, here's list (I love lists! They really are the funnest things to write.).

1. Heather is now a cyborg. I tried to tell her that her two little tubes made her bionic. I was corrected.

2. We've discussed it and I am trying to convince the aforementioned Heather to write a diet book. As she said, "Millions of women are looking for the cure, and I found a cure for fatness."

3. I finally met Shevaun, offspring of the ever gallant Shane. She's beautiful and I plan to make a pest of myself so that I can not only have more Shane/Lana time (whom I really do enjoy), but so that I may also get some cuddle time in with the wee bairn.

4. My cat is gross. Not only does it smell like pure evil (Satan, if you will) lives in her butt, but she decided to take it up a notch and do something unspeakable to the carpet. I still love her, but Ick! Enough said.

5. I was thrown a surprise birthday party last week. It was truly amazing! I didn't expect it (I realize that is the point of the "surprise" part of the party) and it made me feel, well, loved.

6. I found out I was no longer going to Vancouver. All I have to say to that is, woohoo!

7. I wrote a great little Millie tidbit to entertain my own Gladys. It makes me happy to read it. I am thinking of starting a blog for Millie.

8. I found out at the surprise party that two of my friends have known each other for 15 years! I also just found out tonight, that one of those same friends is the brother of a friend from highschool! Now that I think of it, I may remember mocking that kid brother's name. My world, it seems, is shrinking. Pretty cool.

9. It was my cousin's birthday today. I really do have to get better at remembering these things so that I won't get the call, "It's my birthday, want to hang out?" call. I should be calling him, not the other way around.

10. Shannon, in Japan, is doing well. Which warms my heart. Even though we haven't seen each other in nearly a year, I am happy to tell you that receiving an "epiphany" email still holds the same thrill it did when we started nearly three years ago. By the way, Bun-San, yeah, the person having the epiphany is usually the last to know it.

11. Today was coloured with friendship (both old and new) and drop-ins and small memories that still mean so much. There were hugs and laughter and plans for Karaoke.

I am sure there is more, but for now, I must bid you goodnight. I will leave you with this: I am grateful to all those I call friend. I know I am a person who is constantly searching for balance in her life and because of that, I tend to overcorrect and wind up throwing myself off kilter once more. And it is through all of you (blood related and otherwise) that I once again find my footing. I love you guys.

My manual

I spoke to Shannon tonight, via MSN, tonight. She forwarded me a copy of a manual she wrote out for her friend, Megan's, boyfriend. It was operating procedures and a help guide to any problems encountered with the Megan unit. It was highly witty and made me laugh... and yes, I got right back on MSN and demanded she write one for me, and possibly format it in a scrapbook, so that I may see, as well as read, how I am properly dealt with. Since she then demanded to know where the manual I was supposed to write for her was, I quickly sidestepped the whole situation by mentioning copyright laws and other lame excuses. However, this deflection still leaves me without a manual! I think of how helpful it would be to have, at hand, a few helpful tips for those that either are being exposed to me for the first time, or for those of my friends that really don't have a clue on how to handle the wonder that is me. I need this manual.

It will include such basics as:

1. The Bobbie unit requires regular refuelling or will be subject to bouts of moodiness, bordering on bitchiness. Shortbread is a good thing to have on hand as it will also serve to turn her "smile" switch to the on position.

2. Take care to provide excercise and fresh air. This unit tends to get stuck in a work loop and has a hard time overcoming this without help.

3. Be aware that the Bobbie unit can crash, without much warning. This can be caused by stress, or happiness. It is not uncommon for her to have outbursts, both publicly and privately. She has been known to cry, laugh, babble or simply shut down. Each situation is different, so be aware that what worked last time, may not work the next time. She will usually tell you what she needs to get back on track, but if she is being a brat and either not articulating, or doens't know what is the best course of action is, a good solution would be cuddling and a nap. Also refer to #1.


The manual will also include trouble shooting for other, more rare, situations:

4. When asked for chocolate, Bobbie may yell at you and run off to hide in her bedroom. This will be caused by temporary malfunction in her logic processor. It is usually best to let it run it's course, as it is a short lived problem. At that time, when things seem to be operating normally again, you may want to making the same request. This may or may not be successful.


So that is just a glimpse into what it would be like. An asset to all who know me.