At least I wrote something

Oh, how I've been negligent in posting. As I've said before, it's a sure sign that the mind is cluttered and feelings of being overwhelmed must be floating about. I don't know what in my life has me so on the run from own creativity. Wait, I suppose I do. A general feeling of inadequacy is what I believe it is, though I am not sure if that's the right words to describe it, entirely.

Worry not, it's not as bad as it sounds. I've just been stressed at work (I know, hasn't everyone) and what is really bad is that is mostly my doing. I have gotten to a point where I let everything I do, and let everything that is being said to me, hit me in a personal way. I take too much responsibility for the consequences and not nearly enough in the execution of tasks before hand. It's a life theme, believe me. It just seems to be catching up with me. I know that my resolve should be to just do better. Complete what I have to. But it seems that I never do it. I would like to say it's because there is simply too much to do... but then why can everyone else do it?

I have come up with an answer for that question too. My need for balance. I've always been one to search and search for balance in my life and it has dawned on me this past year that I do so with such vigor that I wind up getting a bit out of control, then I over correct, throwing myself off balance even more. Ever twirl on a chair, as a child, and you spin so fast you think you are gonna fall, but it's just your perception? So, you shift your weight and wind up tumbling to the ground when, had you just stayed the course, you would still be seated. Then of course people come running to find out what the commotion is all about, possilby to yell at you for breaking something, or causing their nerves to fray by just being yourself. Well, that's me, in a big old nutshell, overturned chair, broken lamp and bruised bottom in all.

The good news is, I am not governed by my complete lack of balance and resultant sore backside. Let's face it, didn't you always wind up laughing hysterically when you shot off the spinning chair?

Since I've not posted for so long (again), here's just an update on things that have been happening:


Carol celebrated her 22 birthday last weekend. It was such a good time. I got to hang out with her sister (who can completely crack me up at any given moment, even when she doesn't mean to). Lyssa was also present and we did our best to work our way down the drink menu. I also got to spend some time with both Simon and Michele, which was also fantastic. It's been about a year since we've gotten together and it was simply delightful.

During the course of the night, we exchanged stories (how Simon and Carol actually met... both sides of it); my birth control story (which did cause a negative reaction for one person-but after having a heart to heart with both Simon and Michele, I felt better about things as a whole) and a few other tales and inside jokes.

A few weeks ago, Julie, Carol and I went on a ghost walk. It was great fun and I will post pictures as soon as I get them from Julie. It wasn't nearly as scary as the ones Brandy and I went on in Edinburgh, but still a good night.

I was hoping for a frightful Halloween night. Nothing really panned out, so I spent the night with a couple of pizzas and a friend. A marathon nap ensued. It just goes to show that I am a better sleeper if someone else is around... just ask Shannon. I have been unconcious more than I have been awake whenever I stay with her family (there's always some friend or pet to nap with there). All in all, it was a good night.

There have been realizations, though no great epiphanies. I've sent these off to friends, and received a few in reply. It's good to know that I'm not the only one that is still trying to figure out what the heck is going on in life.

Tonight will be a movie with friends and mmmm chinese food afterwards.

Hugs and Hershey kisses