There's no phonecall like a drunk phonecall

Before I tell you about the phonecall, let me tell you this, about myself. I do not nap. It's not that I never have the desire. In fact, I have spent most of the last three years going to bed much too late, and on those rare occasions, not at all. I understand about wanting a nap. The problem is not that I cannot fall asleep, the problem is that every person I know seems to have the uncontrollable desire to call me about seven minutes after I've fallen asleep.

So, tonight, I was watching some lame movie on TV and being utterly exhausted from my current attempts at getting in-shape, I fell asleep. After just a few minutes my cell phone starts to ring. Caller ID says it's my best friend from BC. Sweet, right? I never mind getting woken up for her calls, since I miss her terribly and she usually causes me to squeal in laughter/delight. When I answer, though, it is not the friend in question. It is my friend's old roommate and she's drunk. She's with my friend's sister, who is also drunk. Eventually the best friend makes it to the phone, and you guessed it, she's drunk, too. The whole family, up for the sister's wedding, is at the house, drinking vodka out of the bottle with a straw.

I heard about how the old roommate tore her pretty pink dress because she was clomping around the house "I have MAN STRIDE!". I talked to the younger brother, whom I am slightly scared of, just because the kid seems much too cool to talk to. It turned out ok, though, because we had a delightful chat about unicorns and rainbows and how he would love to receive a live one (hint hint?)to pet and make it be his friend (yeah, I said I thought, past tense, thought, he was too cool). It was hard to keep things straight, since all of those present were vying for attention on and off the phone. But I wasn't annoyed in the least. You see, my friend and I both know that the drunken phone call is the highest form of flattery. Think about it, you're drunk, you can barely string a sentence together, walking without falling is a bit of a chore, but you pull yourself together just enough to scroll through your contacts list on your cell phone and choose one person with which to try to converse with, slurred speech and all.

Tonight, I had that, with more than one person, it turns out. It was worth being jolted out of sleep for, just to talk to them all. It will be worth more when I get to send her brother ranom unicorn posters and cards with rainbows on them.